So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
A bitchslap is in order.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
