Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
