My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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