I am in a vortex of obligation.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
third nipple confirmed
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
