went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
