Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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