college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
