Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
