Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
