I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize