ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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