its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
