He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
