Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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