hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I AM VODKA MAN
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Randomize