he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
