We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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