Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize
