Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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