so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
it was like eating out sand paper
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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