Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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