Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
