didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
