One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
