you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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