I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
