i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
