you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm bleeding and have questions
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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