one might say we're banned from that church
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
