White coat. Heels.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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