so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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