I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
The best revenge is premature balding
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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