I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
