some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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