it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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