Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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