I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
