we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
