the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
