I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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