Grow some girl-balls and come out already
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
