The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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