keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
