dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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