I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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