i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize