my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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