it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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