Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize