No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
