You don't have asthma, your pregnant
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
