So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
