can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
