margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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