Just cropdusted the office
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
soo... how was my night?
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