Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
