Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
